The Lunch Date

And why we ignore problems

Running Balance is the story of how my family of four (two adults, one three-year old, one eighteen-month old) makes it on one income. It’s a work in progress, but if you have any thoughts you can reply to this email.

$19.00, the tire place
Yesterday morning, my mother-in-law drove me to work so I could get my flat fixed. Seeing it in the light of day, I’m amazed I thought I could drive on it. I called our car insurance to arrange for a tow to the tire place and made a mental note to never entertain the thought of declining roadside assistance coverage again. (It’s like $30 a year.) I was sweating bullets the whole way there, but after waiting in line for twenty minutes I spoke to a very nice man who told me that my tire was covered under warranty and they’d replace it if they needed to. Then he asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I agreed, begrudgingly, knowing I’d have to transfer money from savings to cover it—and he told me that was also free.

When he returned my keys to me, he told me that he wasn’t able to save the tire because it had been driven flat for too long. When the tire light first came on, I told myself it was because of the cold snap and put it out of my mind. But it had been on for a week, and even my husband admitted to avoiding it. It’s the same mentality that led to us struggling to make credit card minimums for a year and cutting all of our expenses and still not seeing the balances go down. It’s not just ignoring the problem, it’s ignoring the fact that we don’t have money to fix it.

In the end, I only had to pay for a warranty on the replacement tire, which lasts until it gets worn down. I was so happy I could have cried.

$23.06, Chipotle
Today, my mother-in-law decided to watch both of the kids which meant my husband had time to deep clean the house. (He stays at home with the kids and generally runs things, hence the one income.) When I dropped the kids off, I realized I’d forgotten diapers for my daughter and offered to bring some on my lunch break. I asked my husband to remind me, and he suggested we get lunch together at the same time. We ended up at Chipotle, because of course. (It’s relatively healthy, they have food that both of the kids like, and, best of all, if we’re in a hurry, my husband can order online ahead of time and I can pick it up.)

Work has been more flexible than usual this week thanks to working late Friday and all day Saturday for the conferences I coordinated, so between eating and dropping diapers, we ended up having a two-hour lunch. Hanging out without the kids is such a rare treat. Driving back to work I felt almost giddy and had to remind myself, Oh right, this is what being happy feels like. Our lives are very stressful but they’re also very good. Sometimes that feeling gets lost in the day to day.

$65.76, groceries
After I picked up the kids at 5:30, we all went to get groceries. Well, my husband went to get groceries; I sat in the car with lightly cranky children and changed the radio every thirty seconds to keep them from crying. He picked up milk and snacks for the kids, plus fruit and yogurt for all of us. When we got home, he made veggie burgers with grilled squash for dinner. Some of the people in my life have a problem with the fact that he doesn’t work, but there isn’t an amount of money I would trade for being able to come home to a sensible meal at the end of a day.